Until last night, the weirdest dream I had ever had was in high school. I was flying on an airplane, but the airplane was shaped like a cat, and the flight attendants were mice. Pretty weird stuff, and one of those dreams where you wake up laughing. Last night was different however.
In my dream, my wife was pregnant again. Ok, pretty standard dream considering she's been pregnant for the better part of two years. Here's where the dream becomes anything but standard. She started giving birth to the kids, but she was giving birth to them by half-squatting like a penguin. So she gives birth to two kids in this manner, then she lays an egg. This is a pretty good sized egg, and when the egg opens, out pops a Panda. Then she gives birth to another Panda, followed by another egg which produces another Panda, then another Panda. So if you're keeping score, that's two kids and four Pandas. The rest of the dream consisted of me freaking out about vacation and trying to figure out how we were going to get our eight "kids" to Tennessee for vacation. I also remember saying, "There's a show called Jon and Kate, plus eight on TLC, what about Brad and Mandy plus eight? When are we going to get our show?"
I woke up an hour before my alarm went off in a cold sweat and couldn't get back to sleep. I'm happy to report that, as of this morning, Mandy is not pregnant and we still only have two kids at home. I've yet to find a Panda in the house. I was also unaware that Pizza Hut was now putting LSD in their pizza sauce, but apparently they do. This is the only way I can explain my restless night of Panda nightmares.
1 comments:
you really said, "squatting".
good lord.
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