I went for a walk this morning and got chased by three or four small dogs. Let me just say that I'm pretty sure I hate dogs. Especially small ones. Maybe it's because the first girl I ever loved had a stupid Yorkie yipper dog, and I'm projecting my still hurt feelings onto small defenseless animals (Oh 8th grade heartbreak, will you ever cease?). Or maybe it's because they are small and annoying, and I want to place them on a football tee and place kick them into oblivion. Probably both.
Anyway, I was walking by a house this morning that has two Miniature Pinchers. If you don't know what that is, think of a Doberman and divide by pi, that gives you a Miniature Pincher. These two came after me, snarling and growling the whole way. My response was to take one step toward them and say, "You wanna go?" (only after typing that did I realize how funny/ridiculous that sounds) and they took off and never looked back. Besides the fact that these dogs temporarily ruined my "listening to Sigur Ros and finding my chi" moment, they did cause me to ask a couple of questions. Why is it always the smallest dogs that are, generally, the most aggressive and vicious acting? What does this have to do with anything?
Here's the conclusion I came to (a conclusion that may very well be completely off); I think small dogs realize how weak and powerless they really are, so they overcompensate and try to make themselves seem bigger than they are. They feel that if they do this, people, or bigger animals, will back off in fear. I then realized that people are a lot like that too. I think people who bark the loudest, who are aggressive and confrontational, realize how small they are, but they overcompensate, thus deluding themselves (and the people around them) that they are large and in charge.
I did this in school. I was a small dude. Think "Steve Urkel," then, once again, divide by pi. I was also incredibly insecure, as are most middle and high schoolers. I remember one time picking on the fattest kid in our class. The sheer mechanics of this exchange were laughable at best. I remember picking on him for something (probably his weight, I was such a nice person) and the look on his face is something I will never forget. Looking back, I realize that his face showed more than just anger, it was hurt, it was pain, it was embarrassment. Why did I do it? Because I was a small, petty person, who realized very early on that the only way to make myself bigger was to try and make everyone else smaller.
Did it work? Nope. All it led to was a life of regret, just like that Miniature Pincher would have regretted it had it wandered within range of my right boot.
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