Kethuvim

Having worked a 15 hour day yesterday, I pretty much just came home at 10:00 pm and went to sleep. I hadn't watched any news or anything and hadn't heard anything. This morning, I got to my office and started reading about a 19 year old kid who decided it would be a good idea to go into a mall and kill 9 people, and then himself. This is one of those stories that will continue to unfold, and people who knew him will start coming out of the woodwork to talk about different aspects of his life.

To this point, the only details they have are that he was just fired from his job at McDonald's, just lost his girlfriend, and had a criminal history of misdemeanors including drug use and alcohol possession. It is also known that he was kicked out of his parent's house and that he was living with a family that decided to take him in; a kind of foster situation.

He left a note which had these words printed, "Now I'll be famous." This seems to be a pattern I've seen in almost every "teen shooter" situation; a need to be recognized and acknowledged.

So where does this desire come from? I believe we all have an inate desire to belong to something larger than ourselves, and to be recognized as human. I think it's wired into us. I can almost guarantee that details will start coming out about his high school experience. He will probably be described by former classmates as "introverted," "weird," "quiet," and as being on the fringes. He was probably bullied, or at the very least marginalized.

In his mind (and maybe just in general) he was denied his basic human right, to be seen as human and worthy of love. His girlfriend broke up with him, he lost his job, his family kicked him out. I'm not saying that he had nothing to do with those things that happened, but look at that series of rejection. Every rejection leaves a wound.

Here's my question and a challenge to anyone reading this who claims to be part of the Church. Where was the Church in all of this? We sang an old song at my church this past Sunday called, "They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love." One of the lines in that song states this, "We will guard each man's dignity and save each man's pride." In other words, we'll assure that every person is treated as a human being (and yes, I realize that the Church, by and large, sucks at this). Maybe all he needed was for someone to guard his dignity and save his pride. Who knows, maybe someone tried and he rejected it, I don't know. My guess, however, is that no one tried. It seems to me that no who feels connected and fully human is capable of doing something like this.

I'm filled with nothing but sadness for this kid. I feel sadness because I understand his need to be accepted and loved. I understand his need to be recognized as a person. I've been blessed enough to be surrounded by people who fulfill that need in me, he obviously wasn't. It's time we in the Church start finding these kids, and adults too, and surrounding them with love and acceptance, even in the midst of their messy lives.