Augustus (which means "worthy of praise and worship") Caesar was seen as the human ruler that would bring about everlasting peace. He was well-liked and, generally, a good man. He once paid the year's taxes for the whole province of Asia with his own money. If the State treasury or a friend was out of money, he would finance it with his own money. In the words of Stauffer "Augustus was a blessing to mankind." To give you some idea as to his popularity and apparent achievements, here a couple of writings about him from shortly after his death:
Socialism - a system of society or group living in which there is no private property (courtesy of Merriam-Webster dictionary)
I've been thinking a lot of about this election. That could be due to the fact that I'm getting older and crankier about the fact that this government is grossly misusing my money, or it could be due to the fact that the election has been going on for 2 freaking years and I've had no choice but to think about it. This election is being billed as "maybe the most important election in the history of our country." That may or may not be the case in some regards, but I'm going to tell you why it's an irrelevant thing to say anyway.
I've regaled you numerous times with my opinions of advertising. This post will not continue the trend of bashing companies for stupid marketing. This post will be examples of advertising, were I working for an ad agency. I'm the type of person who just wants more honesty in advertising.
When did we time-warp back to the 1950s? I don't understand. When did it become acceptable again to deride people based on their nationality? Has it always been this way and I just haven't noticed, or is this a recent thing. I saw a video this morning of people at a McCain rally in Pennsylvania and they were yelling at a group of protestors. The person filming all of this was asking people why they were voting for McCain. They were saying things like, "Obama is a terrorist." When asked why, the people said, "Because he's an Arab." Later, they all start singing "God Bless America." I'm sure God was pleased. The video honestly made me sick.
The bailout worked! Wall Street is more stable, and the American people can continue to prosper! The market is doing really well...what's that? The Dow is down under 10,000 points for the first time since after 9/11? Ooh, tough break. I didn't ever want to retire anyway.
This game is just hilarious. I don't care what political party you align yourself with, this is good stuff. The game pits political candidates in a Tekken sort of format. Their weapons are all different. My two favorites have to be Palin's special weapon (her hockey stick turns into a rifle) and Obama's (he shoots doves at his opponents). The only thing about the game is that it's virtually impossible to win. It could just be that I suck. Enjoy.

Here's what's going through my brain right now:
If you suspend your campaign in order to do your existing job, then do a speech the next morning before heading to your existing job after all the decisions have been made, is it still considered a suspension? Can somebody clarify?
Clay Aiken came out of the closet. Umm...yeah we know.
Guys like this need to be in prison. In case you're wondering, this isn't Christian.
I've always wondered what it would be like to live through the Great Depression. It looks like my dream will come true! Hooray!
Sorry for the blogging lull. Not that any of you are crying yourself to sleep at night because of this, but whatever. I just don't have a great deal to say right now. The election is getting so ridiculous that I can't even find the energy to write about it. Spiritually, I'm pretty dry right now, so I don't have much to say along those lines. Add to that my incredibly busy schedule now that the school year has started. All of this equals nothing to say. Hopefully I'll have something of substance soon.
I got in my car this morning to go to work, turned the key and blaring out of the radio is the song "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da" by The Police. Now bear in mind that I'm generally okay with The Police. I'm not ever going to own their entire catalogue or anything, but "Message In a Bottle" and "Every Breath You Take" (by the way, this is the best song about a voyeur ever written) are stellar songs. But seriously, has there ever been a less relevant, more annoying song written than "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da"? After enduring that chorus a couple of times, you have to put up with overly philosophical lyrics like, "Their logic ties you up and rapes you." It's a little too late to be philosophical when you've aurally forced yourself upon us with a completely idiotic title and chorus. My assumption is that this song was thought out and composed after a twelve pack of Guinness and a number of pharmaceuticals were consumed.
So everyone in the Republican party is officially wetting themselves over Sarah Palin. Fine, go ahead. Here's one thing I don't understand though. Fundie Christians make up a vast majority of the GOP. They are okay with electing a woman who could very easily be president sooner than later (look at McCain and tell me he doesn't look like he belongs in a retirement home), and yet a vast majority of those same Christians won't allow a woman to be a leader in the Church. So women can run the country, but can't be a part of setting the direction of the Church? That's consistent.
I have a new picture of my youngest son Abram. He's pale, he's bald, he has a turkey neck, and he's absolutely adorable. I'm convinced that I'm the luckiest guy on the planet to have two beautiful boys, especially when this is half of what they had to work with:


If you have 30 minutes (or more, depending on your skill), play this game. This is about as addicting as a game gets. It's called Totem Destroyer. Prepare to have you time gloriously wasted.
So what makes someone a follower of Jesus? Is it head-knowledge? Is it a commitment in your heart? What does that even mean? I've really been mulling all of this over recently after some conversations with a pastor friend who is working with a student who is a professed atheist. He recently attended a church camp of sorts in Colorado and he "found God" (I'm not 100% sure what that means other than to say that he now believes that there is a benevolent God out there somewhere). He still isn't sure about Jesus. He believes that there was a man named Jesus long ago, but he still isn't sure about the claims Christians make about him. So is it possible for him to follow Jesus even is he doesn't necessarily believe all of the claims of Jesus?
Last night at the house church I belong to, we were discussing the book of Acts. In chapter 2, we come across Peter, on of Jesus' closest followers giving a gigantic sermon to thousands of people. In his sermon, he details who Jesus is, what he did, what he's doing, and the roots of his existence in the Hebrew Scriptures. It's an extremely theological sermon, meaning that it encompasses God's revelation through Jesus in a fairly complete way. The interesting thing is that, just days before, Peter and the rest of Jesus followers had pretty much abandoned him as a fraud.
There's been a lot of hype about the recent "political forum" at Saddleback Church in California. If you don't know what happened, Pastor Rick Warren sat down individually with both of the Presidential candidates and asked them fundie questions about religion and politics. I have a few thoughts about this forum.
Let it be said from the get-go that I like sports. I've grown up playing and watching sports, it's part of who I am. I say all of that because this post might seem like I'm proposing a hatred for sports and other activities.
A Russian Billionaire just bought a house on the French Riviera for $752 million. People in Haiti are starving because they can't afford rice. Good purchase.
I heard the other day that the American Family Association (read: fundie Christians who hate everything) is calling for a boycott of McDonald's because they gave a donation to a gay and lesbian organization. Honestly, I just don't get it. Can the Church in America get any less significant than it seems to be right now? This is what we boil the message of Jesus down to; boycotting a fast-food restaurant.
18 war veterans a day commit suicide. So how is war working out? Good? I think we should stay in Iraq for another 100 years.
Here are some strands going through the ole' duder's head right now:
I'll now mercifully end this series of posts by talking about something that bugs me about Christians. I can't tell you how many times I've heard Christians say something to this affect, "Until Jesus returns, there will be no peace." Beside the fact that that phrase makes me want to release my breakfast to the wind, it is patently ridiculous and unChristian.
Alright, I'm almost done polluting you with my hippie ideals of actually loving people. The next two posts will be the last, and they will be primarily used to tie up some loose ends.
Until last night, the weirdest dream I had ever had was in high school. I was flying on an airplane, but the airplane was shaped like a cat, and the flight attendants were mice. Pretty weird stuff, and one of those dreams where you wake up laughing. Last night was different however.
So how did the early followers of Christ respond to his words following his resurrection and ascension to heaven? One thing is for certain, any reading of the NT will show that the early Church took very seriously the idea that they were Christ's body on earth. Imbued with his Spirit, they sought to live out the words he taught and the way he lived, full of love, peace, and compassion. In today's Church, I find very few Christians who truly understand how literal the writers of the NT were when they referred to the Church as the body of Christ. It seems to me (and I've been in the Church my entire life) that the Church sees this idea as nothing more than a fuzzy notion. However, the implications of the Church being Jesus' body on earth are huge. If we are his body (representatives, hands and feet, etc.), then it is imperative that we seek to live out his teachings and his way of life in order to finish his work of rescuing the world. This isn't just a nice, clean, and fuzzy idea, but a concrete reality that we must take as seriously as the first Christ followers. So what did they have to say along the lines of pacifism?
In my mind, Jesus' words singlehandedly prove that his followers should be pacifists. Regardless of any argument for war made by using the OT, it seems to me that the words of the person by who's name we are called should take precedence. If we are going to be called Christ-ians, then his words should be of utmost importance to us. So let's look at just a few examples of what Jesus has to say.
If anyone ever wonders what makes this country great, watch this video. It may be one of the funniest, and most bizarre, videos I have ever seen.
Inevitably when someone is defending a pro-war stance biblically, they immediately go to the Old Testament stories of Israel attacking everyone in sight. They do this for two reasons: 1)It's easy, because the OT is full of wars and, 2)You can't even begin to make a convincing argument for war and violence based on the NT, so they avoid it.
1968 called and it wants its society back.
Per Michael's request, I'm going to write a series of posts on why I'm a pacifist. I have no idea how many posts this series will entail. I understand how polarizing this issue is, but I feel the need to say what I think, and given the fact that the internet is the last great bastion of free speech, I will exercise my right. If you're offended by what I say, I refuse to apologize. No one in church apologizes to me when they spew out their pro-war rhetoric, so I will not apologize for my opposing stance. If you don't like what I have to say, then just stop reading. So without further ado, here's a completely non-academic view of why Jesus is calling his people out of a violent mindset.
So how can you love your enemy and blow them up at the same time? Hmmmm. It seems that you would have to do some pretty fancy biblical exegesis to get around that one...or you could just ignore it like a vast majority of American Christians.
Congratulations Obama on winning the nomination.
I promised some pictures of my boys, so here you are. First, Ezra:

I was watching a video clip of Bill O'Reilly today (I'm not sure why, because he's an idiot) and he was talking about the YouTube video of those girls beating up that other girl, and then he was talking about the recent pictures of the polygamist poster-boy Warren Jeffs kissing young girls. He was having a debate with someone over whether or not we should watch or look at these things, or whether we should just ignore them. As he's wont to do, he disagreed with the person, and then totally flip-flopped his view once the other guy handed his butt to him in the argument (this, however, is not the point of this post).
I know that we see a lot of change in our lifetime. I know that we've been inundated with information and new technology to the point where we're numb to it, but seriously, we landed a rover on FREAKING MARS! The thing I find incredible is that pretty much no one is talking about it. There's a story here and there about it, but it isn't even front page news.
The Bible can be tricky. The thing about it is that there's almost always something more going on below the surface. Here's an example. In the book of Genesis (Hebrew meaning, "in the beginning") we read the story of our world's origins and the origins of the first cognizant humans. The text calls these people Adam (from the Hebrew "adama" meaning "earth" or "dirt") and Eve (which in Hebrew means, "living"). These two are born into a land of perfection, a land of sunshine and farts, as I'm fond of saying. God lays everything at their feet and says, "It's good, take it." The only prohibition he gives them is to refrain from eating of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. He kind of hints that if they eat from that tree, things will go downhill pretty quick. Of course they decide to eat it, because hey, don't we always like to do the one thing we aren't supposed to do?
I haven't written about my kids in awhile, so I thought I would give an update. So here's an update on each kid individually.
It's over. It's been over for a long time. I know that your last name is Clinton so you feel you're entitled to a victory, but...yeah...it's been over for about two months now. I'm sorry to break this news to you, but the only way you're getting into the White House is if you're invited for dinner.
I had a weird thing happen to me this morning. I was taking my youngest to the doctor and there was a traffic back-up on the main highway. I decided to take some side streets through the town where I grew up and I ended up driving by my old elementary school (which is now a mall...as old elementary schools tend to be). I drove around the back of it on some roads where I hadn't traveled in years. As I drove, I had this flood of nostalgic emotion. I actually almost cried. I was telling my wife about it while we drove and she said she gets the same way when she goes to her old elementary school. We then had a discussion about why that happens. We basically landed on the fact that it makes us think of simpler times when we had no responsibility or care about anything. All of this got me thinking about nostalgia and how dangerous it can be.
Hey everyone. April 25 is world malaria day (sounds nice doesn't it?). I don't usually spend time stumping for causes on my blog, but this is a good one, and one that is close to my heart after spending time in Haiti. I don't know how aware you are of the malaria problem in this world, but let me give you some statistics.

No seriously, I can't think of another country where someone would do this. Is it possible that a video about a horse could make all of the founding fathers simultaneously turn over in their graves? Yes, yes it is.

America spends $250 million a day on the war in Iraq, and people in Haiti are starving to death because they can't afford food. If you haven't seen the news reports, let me fill you in.
At 10:24 AM on April 7, 2008 in the year of our Lord, Abram Michael Polley was ripped from my wife's womb with extreme prejudice. He was none-too-happy about this fact. Delivered by Caesarean Section, he came out with a giant, round head. In the words of one of the nurses who took his vital signs, "That's one of the bigger heads I've seen in awhile." Thanks for making me confident that my kid is a freak. Actually, he's absolutely adorable, but don't take my word for it, here are some pictures.In case you're wondering, in the first picture, that is, in fact, my wife's open thorax. Look at the cranium on that freak! The second picture is the first time he opened his eyes.
I am one of you. A pastor? Yes. A skeptic also? Yes. I have my doubts just like you do. I look at religious people (including myself from time to time) and cringe because of the hypocrisy, the violence masked as love and peace, and the intolerance masked as zeal just like you do. You're not alone. The Church is full of skeptics. "What about the people who seem so certain?" you ask. Sometimes they are the biggest skeptics of them all, but they aren't comfortable in their own skin, so they create a new (and false) skin to protect themselves.
I'm not sure I've ever seen a stranger story that this one right here. I'm speechless.
My whole life, I assumed that the gospel, or good news (Greek: evangelion) was that Jesus died for my sins, and was raised after three days. I remember having a hard time grasping how that was good news and what exactly that good news meant for my life. Here's the thing: Jesus dying on the cross and raising again isn't the gospel. Every time I hear someone preach that the good news of Jesus is that he died for my sins, I want to scream, "NO IT ISN'T!" In Mark 1, Jesus himself states very clearly the definition of the good news.
I'm having one right now.
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